MESSAGE
DATE | 2004-11-25 |
FROM | Billy
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SUBJECT | Re: [hangout] NYLXS Open House Flyers
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From owner-hangouts-destenys-at-mrbrklyn.com Thu Nov 25 00:49:09 2004 X-UIDL: KK>!!IFK"!L-J!!8P1!! Received: from www2.mrbrklyn.com (localhost [127.0.0.1]) by mrbrklyn.com (8.12.11/8.11.2/SuSE Linux 8.11.1-0.5) with ESMTP id iAP5n977015667 for ; Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:49:09 -0500 Received: (from mdom-at-localhost) by www2.mrbrklyn.com (8.12.11/8.12.3/Submit) id iAP5n8Eb015666 for hangouts-destenys; Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:49:08 -0500 X-Authentication-Warning: www2.mrbrklyn.com: mdom set sender to owner-hangouts-at-www2.mrbrklyn.com using -f Received: from mail.dadadada.net (MAIL.DADADADA.NET [209.48.2.106]) by mrbrklyn.com (8.12.11/8.11.2/SuSE Linux 8.11.1-0.5) with ESMTP id iAP5n8Z5015661 for ; Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:49:08 -0500 Received: from 24-90-83-25.nyc.rr.com ([24.90.83.25] helo=[192.168.3.103]) by mail.dadadada.net with esmtp (Exim 3.35 #1 (Debian)) id 1CXCXy-0002Tn-00 for ; Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:52:02 -0500 Message-ID: <41A57237.5000108-at-dadadada.net> Date: Thu, 25 Nov 2004 00:48:39 -0500 From: Billy User-Agent: Mozilla Thunderbird 0.9 (Windows/20041103) X-Accept-Language: en-us, en MIME-Version: 1.0 CC: hangout-at-nylxs.com Subject: Re: [hangout] NYLXS Open House Flyers References: <386AEEE1B7BAC34CB4DDF394C2349278D6E88B-at-w2cs-nyk02.gam.com> In-Reply-To: <386AEEE1B7BAC34CB4DDF394C2349278D6E88B-at-w2cs-nyk02.gam.com> X-Enigmail-Version: 0.89.0.0 X-Enigmail-Supports: pgp-inline, pgp-mime Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Sender: owner-hangouts-at-mrbrklyn.com Precedence: bulk Reply-To: Billy List: New Yorker GNU Linux Scene Admin: To unsubscribe send unsubscribe name-at-domian.com in the body to hangout-request-at-www2.mrbrklyn.com X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 3.0.0 (2004-09-13) on www2.mrbrklyn.com X-Spam-Status: No, score=-2.5 required=4.0 tests=AWL,BAYES_00,MISSING_HEADERS autolearn=ham version=3.0.0 X-Spam-Level: X-Keywords: X-UID: 39100 Status: RO X-Status: A Content-Length: 2709 Lines: 76
Inker, Evan wrote: > After much reflection and help from our President, Big Mike, Here are the > possible new > posters/flyers for NYLXS Open House and FSI Classes. > > A New tag Line we can use on all our email correspondence as well as flyers, > posters, etc could be: > > "Software, like Sex, is best when it's Free"
Terrible! It's a bit of a cute dirty joke, but not for posting in public.
About the FSI flyer....
There are a lot of problems with it, even without the sex talk.
What's with the low-res graphics for the "About Us" and "Course Offerings" bars?
The "About Us" paragraph: cut the word "now", end that sentence with a bang (!). "Affordable Free Software Training" sounds like an oxymoron. Juggle the sentence to avoid the juxtaposition. Don't use "cradle-to-grave", it's depressing and inaccurate. The word "complete" or "comprehensive" would do the job without darkening my day.
"It's prime time", not "its prime time".
put a http:// in front of the URL.
Bold the titles of the classes or make them larger. They are the most important thing on the flyer, and I can barely read them from 5 feet away. Make the price big, and tell me how much it is for 1 class, not 2. Make it explicit that this is for the entire run of the course, not 1 session. State explicitly how many sessions are in each course, don't make me get out a calendar to figure it out. Both classes are at the same address, and both are limited to 20, mention the address only once. Mention the limitation somewhere other than as the opening sentence of the course description. You need the opening sentence to grab attention, not bore people with fire marshal occupancy codes.
You should mention that the introduction to programming with Perl course is beginner-friendly, not just beginner-to-Perl friendly.
Cut the paragraph about "saving the masses" and "technology ignorant government". Especially lose the "... and do not profit off of the money". It's incorrect usage. Really, just get rid of the whole paragraph, as it's redundant with the top paragraph anyway. You shouldn't claim that the course "will take you through Perl's underlying structure", because it will almost certainly not. I'm a programmer, and _I_ don't know what that means, unless it refers to Perlguts, which would be a pretty advanced CS class.
Final suggestion, I promise...
Print little vertical fringes along the bottom (or the side) with the URL or tel#, so that people can tear one off to take with them. Make them small so there can be lots of them. ____________________________ NYLXS: New Yorker Free Software Users Scene Fair Use - because it's either fair use or useless.... NYLXS is a trademark of NYLXS, Inc
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