|FROM ||From: "Rene Ferrer"
|SUBJECT ||Subject: [hangout] GRR's Laws of IT/Computers.
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From: "Rene Ferrer"
Subject: [hangout] GRR's Laws of IT/Computers.
Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2003 19:54:19 +0000
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Reply-To: "Rene Ferrer"
List: New Yorker GNU Linux Scene
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GRR's Laws of IT/Computers.
# Never buy a .0 product from Microsoft.
# If you can do it on a Microsoft platform or something else, always choose
# Despite what your mother led you to believe, cookies are bad, reject them
when you can, accept them when you have to, and purge your jar regularly.
# When stumped have the user run defrag. It makes them feel good, and gives
you time to crawl through the tech database (or Google)
# All things being equal, buy IBM hardware for servers, whatever management
wants for desktops, and Apple when you can get away with it.
# If you have to look up your support contract it's lapsed.
# Spend some extra time on CE's and network/data center managers. When you
really need them you want them to remember you as a person, not as a number
(or worse as a nuisance).
# If the guy you're hiring for that tech position has problems with feminine
authority figures, he'll have problems with you too.
# PERL could solve the world's ills with enough time and proper
documentation. Unfortunately PERL coders are not known for putting time or
documentation into their code.
# Anything Microsoft is trying to kill must work rather well.
# It is not possible to be too paranoid when it comes to computer security
on production systems.
# Trust your significant other with the root password at home. It builds
trust and the relationship.
# Never use the same passwords at home as you do at work.
# Uptime is inversely proportional to the chance that there is an exploit
for your system.
# vi. Emacs is evil.
# A room full of secretaries using WordPerfect 5.1 can out type a room full
of secretaries using the latest version of Word. They're probably happier
# AOL means not having to explain the difference between POP and IMAP to
# You could always use one more development environment than you have funds
# Linux is not a production platform without support from IBM.
# Think before you post to usenet. Everything you write turns up on Google
# About the time you decide to pay for a really cool shareware title,
Microsoft will release the equivalent for free the next week (or Apple).
# The response time of cnn.com is inversely proportional to the event that
# 56k modem is an oxymoron.
# Nothing worth listening to can be found in Gnutella (or any other file
# When feasible backup the Boss's Secretaries computer. The boss doesn't
keep anything on his own machine worth backing up.
# When the corporate security officer asks you a question, answer them and
forget what they asked.
# When your boss asks you to look in someone's inbox, show him how to (from
his own machine) and walk away.
# Certainty is inversely proportional to sample frequency. Of course to be
really certain places a load on the system.
# If you don't measure system performance from an end user's point of view
the measurement is pointless.
# Broadband was invented about the time corporate firewalls got smart enough
to see you surfing porn at work.
# No script ever written was worth a damn if it wasn't automating a decent
# Thou shalt use Strict; Unless you're in a hurry and no one else will ever
have to maintain your code.
# Someone else will inevitably have to maintain your code.
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