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DATE 2019-11-01

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Key: Value:

MESSAGE

DATE	2019-11-20
FROM	Chris Knadle
SUBJECT	Re: [Hangout - NYLXS] Complaint from NYLUG
From hangout-bounces-at-nylxs.com Wed Nov 20 01:53:45 2019 Return-Path: X-Original-To: archive-at-mrbrklyn.com Delivered-To: archive-at-mrbrklyn.com Received: from www2.mrbrklyn.com (www2.mrbrklyn.com [96.57.23.82]) by mrbrklyn.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id 966EF16113A; Wed, 20 Nov 2019 01:53:43 -0500 (EST) X-Original-To: hangout-at-nylxs.com Delivered-To: hangout-at-nylxs.com Received: from yorick.ofobscurity.com (yorick.ofobscurity.com [69.195.140.133]) by mrbrklyn.com (Postfix) with ESMTP id D37F1161132; Wed, 20 Nov 2019 01:53:40 -0500 (EST) Received: from [89.187.143.81] (helo=[127.0.0.1]) by yorick.ofobscurity.com with esmtpsa (TLS1.2:ECDHE_RSA_AES_128_GCM_SHA256:128) (Exim 4.89) (envelope-from ) id 1iXJrt-0002Cn-1v; Wed, 20 Nov 2019 01:53:38 -0500 To: Ruben Safir , Brian Gupta , hangout-at-nylxs.com References: <20191120013310.GA4334-at-www2.mrbrklyn.com> From: Chris Knadle Openpgp: preference=signencrypt Message-ID: Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2019 06:53:25 +0000 MIME-Version: 1.0 In-Reply-To: <20191120013310.GA4334-at-www2.mrbrklyn.com> Content-Language: en-US X-Spam_score: -1.0 X-Spam_score_int: -9 X-Spam_bar: - Subject: Re: [Hangout - NYLXS] Complaint from NYLUG X-BeenThere: hangout-at-nylxs.com X-Mailman-Version: 2.1.17 Precedence: list List-Id: NYLXS Tech Talk and Politics List-Unsubscribe: , List-Archive: List-Post: List-Help: List-Subscribe: , Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Errors-To: hangout-bounces-at-nylxs.com Sender: "Hangout" Ruben Safir: > what are you talking about Brian > > I haven't talking to ANYONE... at ALL > > I have never seen anything like this. > > On Tue, Nov 19, 2019 at 03:57:22PM -0500, Brian Gupta wrote: >> Ruben, >> >> You violated NYLUG's anti-harassment policy [1]. Not only was your behavior >> at our events unacceptable, you participated in online stalking and >> harassment behavior of our members. You are not permitted to attend any >> future NYLUG events and we ask that you cease contact with our members. >> >> Thank you, >> Brian Gupta >> on behalf of the NYLUG organizing team >> >> [1] - >> https://www.meetup.com/nylug-meetings/pages/9791932/Anti-Harassment_Policy/ Brian: I'd like you to imagine you received a message like the one you sent Ruben, which gives blame but not explanation of the offending behavior. As best I can tell, this seems to have gone immediately to banning from future events, and a web link to some policy, without any discussion. If you were the recipient, would you bother to read the policy? Since it's already resulted in a total ban, there seems no incentive to do so. That really doesn't work. There's a lot more effective ways of communicating than this. A web link to a policy is vague because there's a long list of what _might_ have been the problem. Some discussion is needed for the recipient to be able to understand. On a side note: One of the most disappointing behaviors I see in people is _dismissiveness_, where a judgment is made and stuck to, without much consideration for the approach nor use of empathy. That kind of behavior is hurtful. -- Chris -- Chris Knadle Chris.Knadle-at-coredump.us _______________________________________________ Hangout mailing list Hangout-at-nylxs.com http://lists.mrbrklyn.com/mailman/listinfo/hangout