|FROM ||Chris Knadle
|SUBJECT ||Re: [Hangout - NYLXS] Complaint from NYLUG
|From hangout-bounces-at-nylxs.com Wed Nov 20 01:53:45 2019
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To: Ruben Safir , Brian Gupta ,
From: Chris Knadle
Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2019 06:53:25 +0000
Subject: Re: [Hangout - NYLXS] Complaint from NYLUG
List-Id: NYLXS Tech Talk and Politics
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> what are you talking about Brian
> I haven't talking to ANYONE... at ALL
> I have never seen anything like this.
> On Tue, Nov 19, 2019 at 03:57:22PM -0500, Brian Gupta wrote:
>> You violated NYLUG's anti-harassment policy . Not only was your behavior
>> at our events unacceptable, you participated in online stalking and
>> harassment behavior of our members. You are not permitted to attend any
>> future NYLUG events and we ask that you cease contact with our members.
>> Thank you,
>> Brian Gupta
>> on behalf of the NYLUG organizing team
>>  -
I'd like you to imagine you received a message like the one you sent Ruben,
which gives blame but not explanation of the offending behavior. As best I can
tell, this seems to have gone immediately to banning from future events, and a
web link to some policy, without any discussion. If you were the recipient,
would you bother to read the policy? Since it's already resulted in a total
ban, there seems no incentive to do so.
That really doesn't work. There's a lot more effective ways of communicating
than this. A web link to a policy is vague because there's a long list of what
_might_ have been the problem. Some discussion is needed for the recipient to
be able to understand.
On a side note:
One of the most disappointing behaviors I see in people is _dismissiveness_,
where a judgment is made and stuck to, without much consideration for the
approach nor use of empathy. That kind of behavior is hurtful.
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